Creating a home environment for your family that you feel good about.
 
I think that sums it up and by this definition it will be different for everyone. Effective homekeeping is about managing a household so that you can put the most energy towards what is most important.

When your home helps create the type of life you want for your family you have probably achieved effective homekeeping.

For some, it may mean a spotless, well organized home because this is important to you and something you want your children to value.

Other moms may prefer an easy-going atmosphere with lots of creative expression, and little concern for housecleaning.

Neither choice is "right".  Neither is "best" and most of us fall somewhere among the endless possibilities in between.

Many of us put pressure on ourselves to do things the “right way” to be the “perfect mom”. But I must tell you that you will never be the perfect mom, because that woman does not exist. And that one right way that we are trying to find, well it is different for everyone, so you will never find that either!

Many of us are trapped by what we think our homes “should” look like or what our lives “should” be like. This is often the result of expectations imposed upon us by others. We do not have to accept them.

Remember, that many of these standards are given to us by people who want to sell us something. Whether it is cleaning supplies, appliances, books or groceries, it is their best interests they are serving, not yours.

These standards may also be imposed on us by well meaning family and friends who for, one reason or another, think that we "should" do things their way. Again, we do not have to accept them
To figure out what effective homekeeping is for you it can be helpful to decide: What you want. What you value. What you have.

What I Want: What do I want from my home?

• What is my home used for?
• What level of cleanliness is most comfortable for me.
• How much work am I willing to do to get it (either doing it myself or getting my kids to do it)?
• How strict do I want to be with my kids? How much reminding, nagging? How much enforcing do I want to do?
• Am I willing to hold other members of the family accountable (kids, spouses, etc) and follow through?
• What bothers me more the clutter or the dirt or something else?
• Are there rooms or areas of the house that are lower priority?
• Do I want my home to be the “hang out” for my children’s friends?
• Can I accept the mess that comes from this?
• Are there tasks that are lower priority?
• Is it worth the time, energy and money that will be necessary to keep my home the way I want it?

 What I Value: What are my strengths and what do I want to help my children develop?

• Is it Self discipline, self reliance, organization, cleanliness?
• Is it creativity, kindness, self acceptance, pride?
• Is it cooperation, tolerance, patience, mindfulness, etc.?
• What are important family qualities for you? Spontaneous, energetic, active; tranquil, orderly, predictable; supportive, communicating, easy-going. Etc.
• When my children are grown, what memories do I want to have. What memories do I want them to have?

What I have: What is my family situation right now? 

• What ages are my children?
• How do their ages and special needs affect our house?
• Who lives in the home?
• How many activities are my family involved in?
• How much help can I expect?
• What other responsibilities do we have?

These questions plus anymore that you might ask yourself will help you figure out what effective homekeeping is for you. There are no right or wrong answers here.

It is all about what you know is best. Expectations that are too high and standards imposed by others do nothing more that cause you frustration.

If you want your home spotless, but have a bunch of toddlers, no one to help you and prefer to be a creative, unstructured mom, then what you want, what you value, and the life situation that you have is out of sync and you will be frustrated.

If you are content to let the housework go and accept a cluttered home, BUT want to instill in your children the value of cleanliness and organization, you will probably not get what you want.

If you value home cooked family dinners, at which everyone is present BUT you work long hours or your family has lots of outside activities and responsibilities, it may be time to take a closer look at your situation.

You may want your home to be the “hang out” for your teenager and his or her friends. But then you may also think that your home should always be calm, quiet, clean and in good repair. Anyone who spends time with teenagers knows that these two expectations just don’t go together.

Knowing what you want, what you value and what you (realistically) have will help you create an environment that will love and nurture your children. You can then be a “not-so-perfect mom” who is perfect for your family.